There's something terrifying about the fact that Grace loves Dora.
Let me explain.
Today, Grace turned two. Two! That's crazy. It's one of those moments when time seems to move so quickly, but at the same time everything seems so long ago. It feels like Grace has grown up so fast, but it also feels like the days I would let her sleep on my chest while I sat on the couch were a different era.
When she was first born she couldn't do anything but eat, poop, and sleep. She couldn't even hold her head up on her own. She had no real sense of personality, no interests, no tastes, no quirks. She was just a baby. She was our little baby.
When she turned one you could see more of who she was developing. She could walk, say a word or two, started to show a preference for music, dancing, and loved to laugh. However, her experience in this world was still largely dictated by us. The preferences she developed were all based on different things we had introduced to her to see if she would enjoy.
A few months ago, something interesting happened. Grace has a Dora the explorer book. We had read it to her a few times. Then, while we were at a store, she noticed a Dora toy and immediately wanted it. We were surprised she even recognized it, never mind the fact that she was drawn to it. We didn't make a big deal about Dora, it just happened to be in her book rotation.
Fast forward to today. Everyday she reads her Dora book before bed. She has Dora shoes, coats, and pyjamas, much of which she picked out herself. She often asks us to draw Dora characters for her. Dora has become one of her favourite things. All this because it was in the rotation.
There was a moment at some point in Grace's life where she gained the ability to create her own experience in life. I don't know when or how it happened, but it did. That's kind of terrifying. As a parent, you can't help but wonder what your kid will turn out like. You hope to guide them to be a good person, to be compassionate, caring, intelligent, and fun. You hope they'll take on your best parts, while overcoming your worst. In reality, there's only so much you can do. At some point, they start to create their own experience.
What if Grace makes that experience different than how I imagined it? What if, as she grows, she's not as intellectual as I'd like? What if she hangs out with the wrong crowd? What if she becomes an Oilers fan?
The possibilities. They are terrifying. But they are also incredibly exciting. As I see Grace become interested in things like music, dancing, animals, drawing, cooking, and playing I can't help but be super excited about where those interests go. Where this little ball of personality and fun continues to go. I love her and I will always be proud of her. As she grows, it starts to become more and more clear that having a baby also means having a person.
Happy birthday Grace. I love who you're becoming, and I can't wait to see who you become.
